


Translation for On My Own

by beautywind, Kairu_KitsuneO



Series: Leap of Faith (Eng) [5]
Category: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Kissing, M/M, Rejection, Singing, Translation, Translation in English
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-19 20:20:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17608259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beautywind/pseuds/beautywind, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kairu_KitsuneO/pseuds/Kairu_KitsuneO
Summary: A translation fic forOn my OwnbybeautywindIn a parallel universe where Peter B. Parker refuses the love confession from Miles in “Lesson Two”.





	Translation for On My Own

**Author's Note:**

> Just like playing an ACG game, it leads to a different path if you select another option. Suppose that Peter chooses to refuse in "Lesson Two", what will happen?
> 
> This work uses the mood and some part of the lyrics from these two songs, you can listen them while reading:  
> [《I Will Always Love You》](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JWTaaS7LdUJust)  
> [《On My Own》](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ao0sbkp61HM)

Peter remembers Miles asked him about why does he always listen to some old songs. The man replies that he certainly likes the songs Miles recommended, but the reason why old songs have an unshakable place in one's heart is related to the brain. In addition to the fact that the relationship between human "ego" and "memories" is two-way, human beings use "memories" to characterize and shape their "ego"; Conversely, one’s "ego" can control how a person reads "memories". Hence, the music heard during certain periods of life or around selective important events will be consolidate in the brain and create a deep chain of connection with memories. Therefore, no matter how much growth in the future, change of taste, or have broaden your knowledge, the new music you listen to will not replace the old music you heard in the past.

 

"Okay, I will look into them when I go back." Miles says bemusedly. Although Peter always looked decadent, Miles never question about the other's IQ at all. In fact, every spider person he encountered is not stupid at all. Well this one is a little fat…...shhhh, he has to be careful not to blurt out again.

 

"So, are you here to question my music taste?" Peter put on the pizza-patterned sleep mask he bought recently, as long as the little devil doesn’t touch his vintage record, the kid can do whatever he wants to. Peter needs to catch up on some sleep since he went to bed late last night. When he is ready to do that, Miles appears just in time to bother him.

 

"I want to ask about this [I Will Always Love You] song you always listen to, why do you love someone; so madly in love, yet you choose to leave? And saying that this is for best to each other?" Miles’ deep voice rasps above him. _Is he going through the voice-changing period?_ This means their promise is less than a year away…... Peter can't see the child's expression, but he can catch a hint of coaxing in the youthful tone. He hasn't lived for nothing in these past few years, can’t he not see what game Miles is playing?

 

"I didn't really understand it too when I was young. To be honest, I even laughed at this song with my friends, why does the song make it so melancholy and pretense? Love, is there anything that true love can't overcome? I have the ability to defeat so many bad guys, I’m sure I can achieve long-lasting true love too.” Peter is glad that he has hid under the eye mask to cover up his sadness. The boy isn't planning to remove his mask or talk, seemingly waiting for him to continue. However, the older man is speechless for a very long time. Only the rhythmical voice of the black, female singer sings in the background.

 

Just as Miles wants to break the silence, the sorrowful voice slowly carry on his speech, "But in many cases, love will change; man will grow old, flowers will wither, let alone emotions? I think this song is great. Before any resentment and dissatisfaction even come to form, she left, with the most beautiful memories with the man. Her memories will not have those petty quarrels with that person every day, or angry glares and endless silence. The one she loves will always stay the same, in her mind."

 

It’s Miles’ turns to fall silent, and then his hoarse voice briefly greets Peter’s ear, "I don't understand."

 

The child’s tone sounds sourly. Peter knows that his answer hurts the kid; It was merely another form of rejection.

 

"It doesn't matter, I hope you don't understand it. It's best to keep it this way forever. Alright, don't you say that you want to show me the latest album from your favorite band?" Peter takes off his eye mask and strokes Miles’ head. Adolescent should be protecting their throat during their voice-changing period, not arguing problems with this boring adult. So this is fine, he wishes that Miles never understand it, because the process to understand something must first be hurt several times by life, mercilessly.

 

He hopes that he won’t cause pain to Miles, but he always messes it up in the end.

 

On the promised day, Peter notices that Miles has cut his original fluffy hair and shaved it to buzz-cut. It seems that Miles hoped to present himself as a new image on this important day, to receive a different answer from Peter. An answer that he awaits for three years long.

 

**But he says “No”.**

 

Peter catches the sight of Miles’ body shaking slightly. Is it sadness? Or it is caused by anger? Maybe both. This is because he recognised this kind of reaction from Mary Jane several times before, how many times can he hurt the people he values the most?

 

However, maybe Miles doesn't understand it now. Heck, maybe he will never understand it. But it doesn't matter, because Peter knows that if he doesn’t push away the kid right now, it will skid down the same path again in a few years. The only thing he can do is not to be the sunflower that drags the other down. Isn’t how it was sang from the song that Miles often listens to?

 

**You’re a sunflower, I think your love would be too much.**

 

Peter doesn't want their relationship to turn out like that, absolutely not. For Miles’ sake, he must reject; he can only refuse. He is not going to make the same mistake ever again.

 

Angry, red eyes fill with humiliating tears; Miles clutches his fists and snaps at the older man, _“_ Have our three years of interaction been fake? Does our every meeting meaningless to you??” Miles desperately drawing an answer out of Peter's seemingly indifferent expression, but in the end, there is only a heartbreaking silence.

 

Miles activates the portal before Peter’s eyes, just like the first time when he came in uninvited and left in a hurry. But this time he isn't forced to leave nor is he parted unwillingly with Peter; He left without looking back or bidding farewell.

 

 _This is good_ , Peter thinks bitterly. This is the end he had wanted. When the floating furnitures hit the ground, almost in an instant, his whole body gone limp and he sinks to his knees. The tears he held back have already well up out of his eyes. Choked sobs gradually turn into a nerve-wracking cry. Unable to walk to the bathroom, he lies on the floor and curls on his side. His heart hurts like hell as if he is dying. He knew the answer he wanted better than anyone else. Yet he refused and deliberately chose the option that will hurt the both parties and suffer the unbearable pain.

 

_Why did you do it?_

 

Peter sniffs after crying for a long while, feels his throat tightening with each thick air he sucked in. He catches his breath before he answers to the blaming from his brain, "Of course I love him. It’s because of love that I have to do it. You idiot, don't ask such stupid questions anymore."

 

Then, his inner voice ceases to attack him with strange thoughts. Maybe it is satisfied with his answer, or, "maybe half of my brain cells are dead," Peter self deprecates while walking to the wall and retrieving his guitar. He hadn't played it for a long time. So he isn't sure if he can play it well anymore. But it was a song he had practiced during his college years, he should be able to get on with it in a few trials.

 

"If I should stay, I would only be in your way~ -" After pressing a few notes, Peter finds that the tune isn’t right. So he adjusts it for several times before he continues to sing, " - so I’ll go, but I know, I’ll think of you every step of the way. And I… - will always love you, will always love you, - "

 

As he sings, salty tears race down his cheeks again. Occasionally he mistakenly plays a few wrong notes, but these aren’t going to stop the sad man from singing, "- so goodbye, please don't cry, we both know that I am not what you... you need… - I hope life treats you kind; And I hope you have all you’ve dreamed of; And I wish you joy - and happiness; but above all this, I wish you love. - Darling, I love you, I’ll always... love you."

 

Just as Peter sings to his grief until he makes no sound anymore, a warm, big hand brushes his wet face. Despite Peter’s blurry vision, he recognises the silhouette who appears before him without a doubt. He coughs out a few short breaths before he barely squeezes out his lost voice, "You…...didn't you leave just now?"

 

"Didn't I say before that I won't give up so easily? And my piece book is still here. If I didn’t come back to take it, I wouldn't be able to hear your confession." Slender finger wipes away the droplet from Peter's bloodshot eyes. The latter blinks away his stray tears and finally see the smile on the darker man's face clearly. "This isn’t fair -" an involuntary whimper escapes through Peter’s quivering lips, "- real man doesn’t look back. You shouldn't have heard it. This isn’t happening..."

 

"You’ve already said it, you can't take it back." Miles ignores the man's weak excuses. He dominantly removes the guitar that separates their distance; carefully cups Peter's face in his tender hands and kisses him. Peter wants to back away from the sudden affection, but the stronger man clasps his nape and bind his movement. Miles is not letting the sly adult to have a second chance to run away again. Peter belongs to him. He heard it, the feelings from Peter's voice, every word and sentence fills with loves and blessings.

 

Such soft and delicate gentleman, how can he let go of Peter?

 

_Peter, it must be hard to suppress your own feelings, right?  It must be anguish to be all alone, right? This doesn't matter anymore, because I will stay by your side from now on._

 

So, no more running away.

 

As they part away from their lips, the older man looks a little out of breath. Peter feebly protests with his raw throat about not to kiss someone after they cried, then accusing Miles for trying to suffocate him. Miles teasingly replies that this means that his kissing skill has improved, and he won’t apologize.

 

"You, you..." _This brat is all grown up and talking back now, huh?_ Peter, who can't think of any sentence to argue back, babbling the same word over and over again for a long while. Then, the young adult follows after his word and whispers out “I love you”, once again shutting up the mumbling man.

 

"I didn't know you can play guitar," Miles points out softly after the vulnerable man has finally settled down from his struggle and rests in his arms. He thought that he had known Peter for more than three years by now. Yet the man still managed to surprise him. Of course, Peter is the only person who can let him ascend to heaven after falling into hell in just an hour. Miles admits that his heart twitched in pain when being rejected. But at this moment, he is high on cloud nine.

 

"It’s just a few songs, but I feel a little rusty." Peter’s tiredly, grumpy tone seems to be upset about the truth which his secretly singing (love confession) is heard entirely by Miles. However, he would be lying if he doesn’t feel the slightest happiness from the fact that the kid isn’t leaving him permanently.

 

Alas, he is a terrible adult.

 

"Let’s learn a new song? You can teach me how to play and we can practice together." suggests Miles -the young man with unlimited enthusiasm for learning- Morales.

 

"I don't want to play your [Sunflower] song." _The lyrics are utterly uncomfortable, did the relationship ends or not?_

 

"But I don't want to listen the song you played just now!" _Take it upon yourself to leave, and then saying that it’s for the other person’s own good. Have you ever thought about that person’s feelings?!_

 

Just after they disagree each other’s suggestion, something clicks in Peter’s mind as he unlocks his phone for the media player app. He selects his favorite song from the list and set the volume to the maximum. When the play button is hit, the smile plastered on Peter's face threatens to take away the dominance which Miles just secured with great effort.

 

With every line of the lyrics sang out, Miles' surprised face turns dumbfounded with his opened mouth faintly trembling. _Damnit, damnit_ , he thought that today he is the winner, but he is back fired at the last moment.

 

Peter seems to think that Miles’ flustering isn’t enough, continues to sing along the beat, "I lay my troubles down, I’m ready for you now - Bring me out, from the prison of my own pride, my God I need a hope I can’t deny - You’re so much bigger than the world I have made~"

 

Before the song ends, the despicable man is pinned to the ground. His face is drenched with the happiness tears from Miles as he presses his lips against his. When they break away from the kiss, the crying man now is Miles. He can only force out some words through his broken sobs, "You can't go back on it, no going back..." He holds Peter tightly, afraid of his lover escapes without a trace if he let go of his strength.

 

"I do as I say, kid. You have my words." Peter gently carrasses the back of Miles' neck to comfort the younger man. He has make up his mind, no more running away.

 

On the floor not far from the cuddling couple, the phone screen runs a short, scrolling song title repeatedly: [On My Own].

  
**_End_ ** 

**Author's Note:**

> I have been thinking about what would happen if Peter choose to refuse in "Lesson Two"? Is there a song which can perfectly express Peter’s wish for the other party to be well for a 100 years while neglecting his own happiness?
> 
> My friend happen to recommend me this song "On My Own", I like it very much, so I combine it with my favorite song "I Will Always Love You" to produce this fic.
> 
> Here are the wo songs with Chinese-English translations. If you are interested, you can listen to them:  
> [《I Will Always Love You》](https://www.music-cool.tw/2012/09/whitney-houston-i-will-always-love-you.html)  
> [《On My Own》](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ao0sbkp61HM)  
> ~~~~~~~~  
> In conclusion, it doesn’t matter if Peter chose to accept or reject, he will still end up with Miles. Hahahaha (the willful lake goddess’ speech)
> 
> I think that Miles is Peter's "Hope he can't deny", looking at the lyrics mentioning, "So I surrender my soul, I'm reaching out for your hope. I lay my weapons down. I'm ready for you now." It is impossible to not use on Peter who finally accepts Miles’ love.
> 
> At the beginning, it mentions why people always remember the old songs they have heard in a certain period of time. They are from the video of Mrs. Science's "The Nostalgic Divine Tune that recalls memories in a second." If you are interested, you can check out: [《那些一秒讓你陷入回憶的懷舊神曲》](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxOLcr3hpBI)
> 
> Finally, I hope everyone will like this pairing! Well then everyone, see you next time!
> 
> By Author beautywind  
> ++++++++++++++++++++++
> 
> Thank you for reading!  
> Kudos and Comment are appreciated!  
> Please kudos the [original fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17324216) too ❤❤ 
> 
> By Translator Kairu_KitsuneO


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